Parades

5:26:00 PM

I feel like giving my true feelings about parades, why I don't go, and why I am frustrated by the people who do. Not meaning to offend anyone.

  1. It is always a million degrees and you are severely uncomfortable.
  2. The only possible way to be comfortable is to camp out for, as some here in Provo, two days before the parade even begins so you can sit in a camp chair. 
  3. There are always throngs of people, all miserably hot, smelly, tired and frustrated like you.
  4. Lets be real, all the groups walking by you probably couldn't care less about.
  5. If in fact you do care about one of the groups, or even just a single person in the group, it takes hours of effort just to have them walk by on a street.
  6. Having been in a group for a parade, I also don't think its even fun to be in one. Its a bunch of strangers you don't know, mildly clapping for you as they wait for the one they do know. Also, you are walking in the hot street.
  7. Parades shut down a town for days. I am not exaggerating here. Days. See #2.
  8. When people are setting up their tents on the side of the road, they just pull their cars halfway over and proceed to slowly unload their trunk. See #7
  9. Pedestrians: you only have the right of way in cross walks. If it wasn't for the fact that I don't want to go to jail, I would not stop for you. Ever.
  10. For the rest of us that happen to live within 3 blocks of the street blocked off for the parade and want to go anywhere else, we can't due to the blocked road and therefore traffic on all other streets.
In my opinion, people only really go to parades for four reasons.
  1. Its tradition and nobody likes to break tradition.
  2. To take pictures of their kids wearing red, white, and blue waving mini flags.
  3. For the candy. But really is that even worth the fight?
  4. Ferris Bueller singing Twist and Shout.

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1 comments

  1. that was sheer genius!!! dang straight, f parades! I like the marching bands, and the flags, but I hate people! hate people!!! I would, however, go if I knew Ferris Bueller would be there!

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